Remains of the Funeral

So we buried my father. In the past I always thought that when people go through such emotional traumas, their minds would be so clouded that they couldn’t be aware of anything that was happening around them. A haze, I thought, would have surrounded them and they wouldn’t remember a thing once it is all“Remains of the Funeral” yazısının devamını oku

Farewell to my Baba

My father is dead. I am staring at this sentence that I have just typed. My father is dead. This is my own father whom I am taking about. Not the father of a character from my novel. My father. “Come on,” says a voice in me. “There is NO way!” The voice in me“Farewell to my Baba” yazısının devamını oku

Bicycle Pump Part 3

(this way to the  previous chapters…) They did not have swimming suits, so we brought an extra pair with us.  They always wore our clothes anyway.  They were so small compared to me and Esin, so when our clothes did not fit us anymore our moms gave them to Ruya and Mina. Every time they“Bicycle Pump Part 3” yazısının devamını oku

Bicycle Pump- Part 2

Haven’t read the Part 1 yet? This way please… The plan -my plan- was perfect if the gardener’s daughters had not insisted on dragging their spoiled little brother along with them. If he had not come with us, their mother Jamila would not have freaked out and run to our house at lunchtime. I have no“Bicycle Pump- Part 2” yazısının devamını oku

The Back Side of the Earth

Happy full moon everyone! This month, beginning of the lunar and solar months -almost- coincided, so now they are peeking at the same time. Full moon and the midsummer’s dream together…This is the perfect time to be in a boat in the Mediterranean sea! If you are in the middle of the ocean in mid-August“The Back Side of the Earth” yazısının devamını oku

The Taste of the Forbidden Fruit

Nowadays, I arrive everywhere early. Just to have a cup of coffee or to read a few pages before the next thing on my schedule. Like now for instance… I still have 40 minutes before my evening class begins and I have already arrived to the coffee shop next to my studio. Now…How about a“The Taste of the Forbidden Fruit” yazısının devamını oku

Some Other Thing

In the morning of the day after my 35th birthday, I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my chest. I remembered coming home from my party and hopping into bed without even brushing my teeth. The uneasiness  was unexpected yet familiar. The lights of the warm sun were dancing on the Marmara Sea. I“Some Other Thing” yazısının devamını oku


I love my students and I love hugs. I don’t like hugs from my students. I remember the feeling when one morning in Istanbul, after my class, a student, who is also a good friend, walked up towards me and gave me a big long hug and a loud kiss on each cheek. I felt“HUGGING the TEACHER” yazısının devamını oku

Love Affairs of Self-Destruction

Special thanks to Kokia Sparis for his meticulous editing and for his inspiring ideas on this blog.   Yesterday I went to the swimming pool with my father. One of us is a Cancer, the other a Pisces; so we like socializing in the water. Instead of meeting at a café we often make plans“Love Affairs of Self-Destruction” yazısının devamını oku